Відео

You both are God sent ❤

This is like me NEVER with my mom and dad.

An incredible conversation that covers so many essentials. Thank you!

Can’t do a jack knife off a diving board but I am a nurse 😂

I was once looking at a heap of thrash and managed to discociate... the plastic bag started looking like three beautiful ladies, in profile, with long luscious hair In a lot of way I was seeing things similar to what a salvia trip will trigger except it required concentration and I would snap out of it instantly if I moved my eyes etc

Do something on neurofeedback and TMS. The former I know little of... the latter was a definite negative experience for me. No one is really talking about these two forms of therapy.

I’m dealing with a Mother/Daughter duo who are both emotionally immature and deeply enmeshed. They feed off each other’s emotions & energy and the circumstances surrounding them people are distancing themselves from them and their family. They are super concerned about what others think about them. I’m moving in a few months, but I’m concerned about the girl who is physically 25 but level emotional maturity is about 5. This video helps me understand what is going on.

I really enjoyed this in depth look at therapy. In BC, therapy is not regulated and there is a wide variety of providers. I’ve been in an out of therapy for 45 years and still found some of the information and suggestions helpful. I agree, that I need my therapist to like me, or at least feel a rapport with them. I’m a little younger than Rick, and similarly, was a nerdy kid, with a poor connection to my parents. I’m a big fan of much of the material Rick (& Forrest) post, and very appreciative and grateful for his generous contributions to my well being.

ok but why do i dissociate when im at work?

Blacklist exodus.

Tip for Borderliners: Don't tell people you have it, they'll get scared and take off. Particularly never tell an employer, and speak quietly at the doctor's consulting room, because other patients can hear you through the wall, and my gossip.

Ooh UA-cam Recommendations wins again! Currently dealing with a parent and a brother… crazy how YT knows me better than I know myself. 😅

"Every right to be Royally pissed off." I love that description of BPD.

I started listening to this podcast in the background while i do other stuff like i do with most podcasts but they're so packed with useful stuff thay now i only listen when i have time to sit with a notebook and really take it in and make a plan of how to apply it. Thanks guys. You're doing some really great work here.

Another really great episode packed with practical information. You guys are really making great stuff.

My goodness, so many wonderful tid bits of learning here ❤ Thank you so much.

Thank you both very much, resonating bonngggg

Really cool explanation, so simple to understand and work with

Absolutely no cure for this wow 😢😮

I cure sorry America ❤

The children fools Dam

I clicked like before I even listened. You had my attention just with the title alone. This has been my life with my Mom.

Wow

When you struggle with all the categories of need 😭

Wow I'm so thankful for finding this channel . Thank you both so much for this opportunity to learn ❤️ 🙏

So, what if you are being put in a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" scenario? Example: your young, attractive daughter likes going out by herself at night in a known part of town to be "sketchy" and calls mom up and tells her she's out alone and wants to talk while she's out. Daughter KNOWS mom will worry herself over daughter's safety but she constantly tells mom everything's fine. Mom says pleeeeeze go home and daughter accuses her of trying to control her and ruining her night out. If mom says she'd rather not know of the dangerous things that daughter does, then daughter accuses her of not caring nor wanting to be a part of her life. Mom has tried reasoning. Nope! Mom is not going to lower her standards regarding a young girl , hers or otherwise, out alone late at night in a known bad part of town! It doesn't matter how many accusations she wants to throw, it is obviously bad judgment and tortuous to the mother who lives 6-8 hours away.

What is your father's approach? Carl Roger's?

16:03

I would say that when you’re “choosing” a particular approach to a parent as a kid, or even as an adult, until you can get help for what you’re doing it’s not actually a choice - a person is not “choosing to approach the parent in a certain way” - it is a survival mechanism that the person has not yet unlearned. There is a whole 12-step program for this called Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families built on these very concepts - it’s called the Laundry List.

She's just so lovely 💕

I know this was a year ago and I have enjoyed watching many of your videos. However, I just came across this one in a search for videos about parentification and I have to admit I'm so disappointed. People like me who have dealt with long-term parentification due to physical illness and lack of ANY real or regular support are NEVER talked about. It hurts. Often these videos are meant to make survivors feel less alone. They do the exact opposite for me. I appreciate you even attempting to tackle this topic. But there's still some of us that aren't represented.

I am so grateful for this video. I grew up with emotionally immature mother, I am 45 now and I don’t communicate with her. Any my childhood moments that I can remember were traumatic 😢

On one side I hear that it is innapropiate to want someone else to meet your emotional & social needs to some degree, especially with a moralistic attitude. On the other hand, I hear it's innapropiate to stay around people who can't possibly meet any of your needs in any way because of emotional immaturity. Doesnt add up to me.

If if you're focused on the past while meditating, then your not yet in a meditative state

I have IBS and have tried every protocol and did every test with my ND. I’ve done talk therapy for many years and I’ve been diving into more somatic practices in the past few months. Can you suggest any exercises to help my digestive system to feel safe? I feel like I’m doing everything right, but also feel a little frustrated because I’m not seeing the digestive results.

The therapist relationship got me wanting to listen to this podcast. Last night my therapist told me I should take up an instrument and I was sort of dumbfounded. Does she not get I broke my hand and unfortunately developed Regional pain syndrome. I can’t bend my fingers of my dominant right hand. So I listen wondering if I had a stuck mental attitude.

A beautiful discussion. I wish I'd had someone to talk to, who listened to me, and took me seriously. I'm now 65 and have never found a niche in this world. I was pulled away from my goals and dreams of pursuing music and medicine. Subsequently, family criticism played out again and again by the father of my children. Thank you both for the example you set as you listen to each other and offer loving responses.

Where’s the line between emotionally immaturity and narcissism? Especially when changing reality.

watching this to see if its worth it to continue communicating and coping with my friends and seeing that I'm also part of the cycle, but growing out of it as I'm continuing in therapy🙃

You remind me of my psychiatrist. I'm 24 right now and I've been going through a really rough patch in life. Social difficulties, a toxic relationship, struggling academically (had to pause my college attendance), depression, substance use, navigating my first apartment (with flatmates) without having a clear structure of work... Plus my psychiatrist also suggested that ADD/ADHD might be an issue. But he's no expert in that area so he's not able to make a diagnosis. Your videos give me hope and motivation. It's so difficult being in my 20's. Life only seems to get more difficult the more time I spend here. But I'm already making progress. Slowly but surely by listening to my surroundings and most importantly to myself. Life will always be difficult but with time I realized there are ways to deal with it, to make it easier, to make it enjoyable. Thank you for sharing your videos here!

My 23 year old used the moral obligation persuasion on me to get a second thousand dollars for dental work, even though they are in $18,000. spending debt already, then a few days later neglected mother's day. I felt so valueless. I have had to put off my own dental work to pay for my child's, and delay my pet's spay for two months, and skip a month's savings contribution. My child sent me a birthday present but it was days late and not wrapped, and my child send no gift or card at xmas, though went in to detail to me about gifts bought for friends, even seeking my input. Is it my fault my child acts this way, and is so irresponsible? Obviously, I'm only one of two parents. The other hurtful thing is my child has taken my ex's viewpoint on the issue than ended our marriage which makes me feel resented to the point of hatred. :_ (

I’ve never heard of this, is this what happens when you lose your identity while serving as a caregiver for a family member?

son and dad conversation about psychology, love it!

Just want to known if anybody had felt a knot in the throat while on freeze mode and if someone keeps yelling at you and demanding an answer then the side of the head and ears start to feel pain/pressure?

I hope I hear about TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) surviving toddlers who became adults. How they are injustly being judged while they had been neglected by the health professionals and being labelled incorrectly with other Mental Ilness Labels and were never provided with proper care, healing and tools to be mature.

32:54 Is where I am, but I can't speak to that because of 38:25 is exactly why I don't (can't) act on them. At home, I came from a good family, but what I wanted wasn't acknowledged legitimately. I remember getting physically ill going to church because the thought of being an AP kid Monday through Friday with hours of homework, doing said homework all week (including Saturday) and then sitting in a long, boring and disenfranchising black Baptist church only to do it all again was killing me. I could say something, but we'd still go. I'd ask to go to prom and was told no. I'd ask to go on the school trip and was told no. Both in childhood and in adulthood, I've struggled with being the only minority in high performing spaces and couldn't speak up for fear of being looked at with blank stares or falling into the category of an oddity or sterotype. Recently, I've learned to advocate for myself at work, but that has made my life a living.hell. 51:07 (but not romantic). When the quiet person speaks up you get your teeth kicked in--in my case, having my boss's boss email a scathing message with a dozen members CC'd on it. As he said, sometimes there really is no safety. Sometimes there's no right answer, only a way to avoid harm at best and reduce it at worst. That said, I really, really appreciate this section of the video sooo much. I feel seen and heard.

The view they assert forgives people who are out of control bullies as children and then are callous and inauthentic / emotion-hiding as adults. She blames people who "react to life" which is typical of people who were given PTSD by the confident self loving bully type children. The people who are the problem are the ones who believe their outcomes are more important than yours so they can harm you to benefit themselves. That is totally separate from reacting to it when people do something hostile.

Forrest, off subject but awesome hair!!!

I lost 2 family members in a 2 months tão between both. The last was my mother. And after a year and a half as Their take care giver…. I was proative and alert. 0 anxiety. After my mum died i had 7 months on generalised anxiety. I could be anxious all day. Now… after that heavy load of cortisol and adrenaline. I feel less anxiety but in freeze mode… sleepy, lack of entusiasm, just like a crab i am inside a shell and hidden inside a rock… hibernation like some animals… does this fade away???

My mother is literally a 14 year old girl stuck in a grown woman body. It seems like the entire time iv known her she was going through the normal teenage development years just as she got older she gets worse off. She used to just be a drunk now shes a drunk meth head. I always had to take care of her, hold her hair while she threw up in the toilet every morning, get her water, make her food, clean her up and get her changed. I always felt like i was HER parent. And i had to parent her other 2 kids, my younger sisters also i remember being in a pullup getting my youngest sister out of her crib changing her diaper, made her a bottle "not sure if i made it right i remember reading the directions and what my older cousin had told me one time before that 4 scoops and fill it to the 8 and shake. As we got older i would make her toast, toaster struddles, ramen noodles bc i knew how to do that before my dad got custody when i was 6, after that he was also a drunk on perks emotionally unavailable, gone majoroty of the time at work, i taught myself how to make eggs, pancakes, literally everything. My parents were grown children.